Mommy, when I grow up I want to be...

I hope I have ambitious children. Today I just learned of a new job in our magnificent national economy. What is it you ask? A wax ball knockout worker. That's right someone who, "crushes and removes wax-ball lasts (forms) from basketball carcasses, using club, scraping tool, and airhose: Strikes carcass with bat to break wax ball. Shakes pieces out through opening in carcass. Scrapes wax particles from carcass and removes particles and dust with airhose."

If you'd heard of this job when you were in those formative years, imagine how different your life could have been. That's why I'm asking you to join my mission in educating our youth and letting them know that if they work really hard --I'm pretty sure this job is almost impossible to find-- they could one day be wax ball knockout workers.

Why I proposed to a post-it

Essence magazine had it's first lesbian couple in the Bridal Bliss section today. At first I felt pretty ambivalent about the story, I mean it's not like I got a pretty dress and found the love of my life and was featured in a national magazine...bastards... Anyhoo, like I said, I was pretty ambivalent about the whole thing until I read all 200 comments-- I'm driven!-- that I found myself very passionate about one argument in particular.

Avril2:39 pm

I know we are to love and accept everyone , but we are not to condone sin just to be seen as liberal or hip. This is clearly wrong and all the responses praising this article are amazing to me. As the tide continues to slowly turn , everthing is going to be seen as acceptable. Believe me , in 10 -20 years , we will be able to marry our pets if we like. Sounds crazy , but it's all a part of the "anything goes club". As long as the catch phrase "Love whom ever , whatever you want" is thrown in they'll be some pervert willing to go that route. Sorry , but this is wrong. Not because I say so , but because God says so...


I was so inspired I felt the need to respond:

Facebook User2:56 pm

It's irrefutable logic that if we allow "the gays" to marry, next we'll be allowing people to marry invertebrates and maybe even post-its ( I bet post-its would be far more loyal, especially if you married the full pad and not just one...though the one would probably be pretty loyal til the glue gave way), cause people, pets and inanimate objects are all equals. I keep trying to tell everyone, there's no way my pet venus fly trap isn't going to heaven dammit, she's a person too!

I was really proud of myself for standing up for my beliefs along with Avril. But, I was terribly disheartened when I went back just now to see how people were responding to my post and I didn't have any responses. :( Just you wait until we get to those pearly gates and Venus and I (that's the fly trap's name) will be sitting with St. Peter judging all of you naysayers!